Pretty stoked! The Kickstarter for Project Dermatillomania’s reformatting into an ebook is at 95% funding! We only need $25 more dollars to be at 100%!!! :D

7 days left to help out!

Anonymous Asked
QuestionI was wondering if you have any tips for people suffering with dermatillomania who also have freckles? I don't pick at the freckles but they make it very hard to conceal spots with makeup. Any tips? Answer


I actually don’t have experience with that particular problem but I’m sure someone out there has freckles and knows how to cover them? :)

"The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention."
— Thich Nhat Hanh (via rainydaysandblankets)

(Source: kari-shma)


Scars and scabs on your skin don’t make you any less of a decent person. Your skin does not define you. Your disorder does not define you.


Something that many acne sufferers and compulsive skin pickers want to know is how to get rid of hyperpigmentation (rather than scars, which are actual changes in the collagen, leaving depressed or raised areas). The new US trend in skin-brightening products (more inoffensively named than in Asia…

Anonymous Asked
Questionfor anon worried about scars causing the end of a relationship: not only do I have picking scars, but I have burn scars as well covering a substantial amount of my body. I've never had them be an issue in an actual relationship! I had exactly one thing fall apart from what I assume was because of the scars and that was only after 1 date. My long term relationships have all lasted a long time despite my scars (and ended because of entirely different reasons). Answer

Thank you so much for responding. Take care!

Anonymous Asked
Questioni just don't get why you can't just end the relationship.. no one should feel guilty that they caused it I'm very insecure clearly, but I'm only a teenager still and shouldn't be thinking about shit like this. It makes me think 'well what if i'm not capable of keeping someone happy'. It's sad to see how many (mostly women) either don't want to know, or just assume it will happen. My picking disorder is the main thing I'm vulnerable about. Answer

There are many reasons why people don’t just decide to end their relationships, and instead decide to cheat. Most of it is insecurity, or not being happy. The discussion about why people cheat can be a long one and has many variables, so it’s difficult to discuss in general.

But your job is not to keep someone happy. In a relationship your job is to work together to be respectful of each other and expand your relationship. You also have to work on yourself, since that the only person you can help, really. It takes work to build a relationship, and one person is not responsible for the others’ happiness.

Keeping secrets isn’t a good idea, so it may be best to be honest about your picking before you get into a serious relationship. You have to practice speaking about it and being comfortable bringing it up with a partner. If they hate you for that, then you should gladly move along to someone a lot cooler that loves you for you.

Anonymous Asked
QuestionWhat if someone gets tired of my scars? & wants someone else. I can't really blame them for that. Society makes it seem like it's the person who was cheated on fault. And there's some things I can't really change. Answer

What if they suddenly hate your scars? What if they hate that you gained weight? Or have cancer? I mean if that makes someone leave you, you should be grateful that they did so. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone that loves you no matter what?

Sure, you’ll be sad and distraught if someone leaves you because of your scars, but it will just make you a stronger person in the end. You will reach out to nicer, more genuine people and exclude assholes from your life. Scars are like asshole detectors that way.

Anonymous Asked
QuestionNo I've never even been in a relationship before, and it hasn't happened to my parents also so I don't know why this is so strong for me. I have in the past trusted friends way to easily, I'm very open, I would tell them everything without really taking time to trust them. I was gonna bring this up with my therapist, but kind of uncomfortable doing so. i understand in some relationships over time one just stops caring about the other, i don't want that. Answer

Well, the first rule of therapy is that if you are uncomfortable talking about something, it’s a good thing to talk about at therapy. Glad you’re in therapy. I encourage you to be honest and open about anything during therapy. That’s the way you can make the most progress. Good luck!

Anonymous Asked
QuestionI have my walls up, I'm not totally against the idea of being in a relationship, but I'm terrified of getting cheated on, I don't want to get hurt. Cheating now days seems very accepted, sad to say but it's true. If someone cheated on the SO many years ago, it would be more surprising than it is today. So many articles in magazines like "How to keep your man from straying", like there is something you can do. I don't want to feel like I have to work hard in a relationship to keep someone, (pt 1) Answer
(pt 2) I feel people think it’s something they can prevent. I don’t think that’s true. It’s not really about a man/woman’s worth. Even supermodels get cheated on! I mean do some people just accept the fact it may happen? It seems like some are almost prepared for it too. I don’t want to blindly trust someone, but I also don’t want to totally shut the idea of ‘love’ out. I’m young, and too already be worried about things like this is tearing me apart.
It sounds like you’re afraid of putting yourself out there mostly because you are afraid of rejection. You are scared of what might happen if. Because it seems like you are stopping yourself from doing things, like trusting people, or being in a relationship. Is this correct? It’s not uncommon, so don’t feel alone. Everything feels this way. No one likes being cheated on. No one likes to be lied to.
So you’re afraid of getting your heart broken. Has this happened to you before? Did something happen to your parents? Just curious as to how these thoughts are really strong with you. How are you with feeling your emotions? Are you open and vulnerable with people? Are you letting the right people in your life?
Your work is trying to overcome this fear because it can lead to depression or crippling inaction in your life. If you do nothing, you won’t feel anything. If you put yourself out there you will feel love, but you will likely also feel loss and sadness at some point. Maybe even betrayal. But you never know.
People cheat all the time. Yes, people cheat on supermodels or celebrities. So it should have no bearing on your own self-worth, but it often does become personal. People blame themselves. And they should honestly evaluate whether they did contribute to an environment where someone cheats on you. But mostly, the cheating is all about the other person and their feelings.
The fact that the first thing you said is that you have your walls up, means that you are not ready or willing to give yourself fully to another person. And that’s good to know. But that’s also a sign that you have some vulnerabilities that you need to work on. What is holding you back? Is there a secret or shame you are holding on to? Do you have trouble expressing your emotions?
It’s great that you are thinking about this now. I hope you can continue this self-reflection, and think about maybe going to therapy. You can uncover a lot more things when you talk things over with a professional. It’s difficult to do something like that with an ask and answer here on Tumblr.
Thanks for writing and good luck!